by    in Popular Lists

Dirty Airline Secrets, ’90s Supermodels + Not-So-Smart Criminals

Spring is in full swing and we can hear the birds chirping. Passover, Easter, Earth Day, 4/20… there sure is a lot to celebrate this month! Our gift to you: a handy roundup of our favorite new lists on Ranker.

9 Bad Things That Happened on Good Friday
Though it is not the merriest holiday for Christians (or Jesus for that matter), it still seems pretty crazy that so many murders, crimes, and disasters have gone down on Good Friday.

18 Dirty Facts About Flying That Airlines Don’t Want You To Know
Warning: some of these appalling airline practices cannot be unseen. If you’re squeamish, there is still time to turn back and continue to be blissfully unaware that your aircraft’s wing may or may not be held on with duct tape.

15 Criminals Who Got Caught By Bragging About Their Crimes
Some people are just in the habit of sharing everything about themselves on the Internet. You eat mac n’ cheese for dinner, you tweet a pic of yourself enjoying your meal. You rob a bank, you post a pic of yourself fanning out the money–D’oh!

Easy Things You Can Do Today to Help Your Environment
You don’t have to be a hero or a hippie to know that our environment could use a little help. In honor of Earth Day this month, here’s a fun roundup of easy things you can do to make a difference.

Stunning Snapshots of ’90s Supermodels (Then and Now)
Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell. . . they were all household names back in the ’90s. We all know that Tyra Banks is as crazy as ever, but what are the rest of these beauties up to and how have they aged?

20 Jobs That No Longer Exist
It’s insane that PEOPLE ever did some of these tasks. (See: the job that was replaced when alarm clocks were invented.) But they did and we have the pictures to prove it.

The Worst People On Planes
Whenever you board a plane, you hope that everything runs smoothly. Of course, that means safely, but it also means not having to deal with the many types of obnoxious people you’re likely to encounter. Here’s a rundown of the usual suspects.

by    in Popular Lists

Bed, Bath, Ranker Lists and Beyond!

It’s Sunday, it’s freezing in Los Angeles and these are just some of the lists that were relevant on Ranker this week:

It’s November 5th… Can’t Shake This Feeling There’s Something I’m Supposed to Remember, Remember…

On November 5, 1605, a group of English Catholics planned to assassinate King James I of England and VI of Scotland by blowing up the House of Lords with gunpowder, but they were captured before their plan could come to fruition. Ever since, in England, it’s customary on November 5th to commemorate the event by setting bonfires or wearing masks inspired by one of the conspirators, Guy Fawkes. Today, the recognizable “Guy Fawkes” image is associated with a different group of revolutionaries, the shadowy online hackers association known as Anonymous.

It’s easy to understand why a lot of people would be intimidated by Anonymous. They try to make themselves kind of chilling with all that “we are legion… expect us…” stuff. Plus people in masks are always kind of unsettling. Also, they probably can figure out how much porn you’re watching, you know, if they feel like it. But Ranker user Beau Iverson urges us not to fear Anonymous, but to celebrate them, in this collection of the Operations That Will Make You Love Anonymous.

For example, did you know that Anonymous’ Operation Darknet busted an online pedophile ring. It’s true.

Hey, wait a minute. That’s all well and good, but they better not be trying to take Chris Hanson’s job!

Anonymous, you can wear all the masks you want, but keep stealing my bit… and I will find you… and I will ask you nicely to take a seat.

Zooey Deschanel Continues to Strip the Word “Adorkable” of All Meaning

It’s like nothing is sacred any more. Probably because no things are being held sacred.

In the latest example, America’s favorite woman who looks like Katy Perry that isn’t Katy Perry, Zooey Deschanel, was invited to sing the National Anthem at Game 4 of the World Series. Probably because she’s on that new show about that new girl who awkwardly sings all the time. And also maybe because she has this new Christmas album with M. Ward that is so unbearably twee, each time you listen to it, Wes Anderson actually comes to your home, brings you a new sweater-vest and then takes your portrait in it using an old-fashioned camera.

Check out how Zooey did, and how other celebs have fared at Francis Scott Key’s composition, in this look at some of Kel Varnsen’s least favorite National Anthem renditions.

Shawl Rock is Back!

In other music news, Florence Welch and her unnecessary plus sign are back with a second album this week. It’s called “Ceremonials,” cause… well, why not. Here’s “Shake It Out”:

There’s lots more (seriously, a whole lot for a group that only had one album before this) on Ranker’s Florence and the Machine Videos list. Maybe don’t watch them all in a row. That much twirling around in place could lead to a serious spell of vertigo.

Everyone Continues to Sort of Love Memes

Couple of hot memes in the past few weeks have captured the attention of the Ranker community and earned their very own lists.

The Good Guy Lucifer Meme features an image of the Devil himself, or at least a very David Bowie-ish interpretation of him from the DC Comics series “Lucifer.” The jokes themselves basically posit that Lucifer was a solid dude and years upon years of propaganda have caused us all to see him in a negative light. For example:

And so forth.

Also this week, we formally met Geeksquad Gus, who constantly gives you bad technology advice, typically involving upselling you on expensive purchases you don’t really need.

To wit:

I am sorry you had to see that photo. It’s in the interest of science. Wait, no, not science. What’s that thing that’s not at all scientific?

Well, that’s it for another week of great Ranker lists. Check out the blog here every Sunday for another wrap-up, and don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and Facebook to keep up with all the latest in listing.

by    in Popular Lists

List Roundup

Here are some of our favorite lists from around the web you may have missed this week.

1. The Worst Bands of All Time:

This is a CrowdRanked List that needs your input. Everyone is voting on this list and at the moment Nickleback is in a close battle with Creed. Now is your time to voice your opinion and let the world know what band you think really really sucks.


 

2. Forbes Most Powerful People in the World:

This is a awesome list of the 70 most powerful movers and shakers in the world. As you might imagine The President Barack Obama tops the list and Kathy Griffin just missed the cut, again.

 

3. The Long List of Jewish Reality Stars:

This clever list was compiled by Jewish celebrity gossip columnist Cheryl Jacobs. Here is a clip of the colorful Jewish host of the show Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger.

 

4. The 50 Greatest College Basketball Players of All Time:

A great subjective, detailed and entertaining read as the NCAA basketball season tips off this week. The guys a Grantland publish some great articles and podcasts be sure to check them out if you want to stay up to date on your sports news.

 

5. America’s Most Broke Cities:

Our friends at The Daily Beast compiled a depressing list filled with some scary stats. Did you know that Reno has an unemployment rate of 13%? Or that Savannah(below) has an average credit score of 716? Ouch.

Boat river list
 

6. Best Leadership Books of All Time:

Inc.com put together a quick list of some of the best leadership books ever written. If you are looking for some early Christmas gifts for your boss, be sure to check this great list for ideas.

 

7. Expensive Sports Divorces:

The shocker of the week was provided by the Humpdashian divorce spawning this list from Yahoo. Our favorite divorce was Michael Jordan and his ex-wife Juanita topping the list at $168 million. A minor speed bump for the Air Jordan Empire.

 

8. Foursquare Badge List:

The buzz around the office is that it isn’t complete but it is pretty extensive. One that really stood out to us was The Douchebag Badge; check in to 25 venues tagged “douchebags”.

 

9. Essential Apps of 2011:

As determined by the team at Wired, some of these must haves apps have become an integral part of our lives. We love the Twitter and Instapaper apps. What are the two apps you can’t live without?

 

10. The 7 Most Frivolous Lawsuits Against Celebrities:

A great Ranker list of nutty lawsuits against some high-profile celebs. This might be the sole reason P.R. people still have jobs to fend off rumors, like this weeks news that The Bieber allegedly knocked-up a girl who is know seeking child support. Tsk Tsk.

by    in Trends

Happy Halloween from Ranker!

This is Halloween, this is Halloween, something something in the dead of night.

Never actually learned all the words to that one. Seriously, try singing the non-“This is Halloween” part to yourself right now. Something about pumpkins and trick or treating, but damned if I know quite what. Anyway, it’s a fun song and eventually the sentient skeleton god learns that the true meaning of Christmas is he, as a ghoul, should not be celebrating it in the first place. Everyone can relate to that.

At Ranker, we love Halloween, and not just because it’s an excuse for us to go outside in our pajamas and pretend that it’s a “costume” rather than the thing we’d prefer to be doing every day. It’s also because we love horror movies – and have a ton of great lists about them on our site – and October 31st just happens to be the best day out of the year to watch them all! All of these rankings of the greatest horror films were voted on by dozens, hundreds and, in some cases, thousands of Ranker users. They won’t steer you wrong.

So whether you’re looking to have a scary movie marathon all Monday night, or just have a few titles to throw up in the background during your next frightful soiree, these lists ought to do the trick.

The Best Found Footage Movies

The “found footage” genre has been around for years but recently, in the wake of the “Blair Witch” phenomenon and the explosion of amateur video on YouTube and mobile phones, it has become totally ubiquitous. It seems like each week, a different movie that was supposedly “discovered” on an abandoned blood-spattered camera in the woods, pops up in multiplexes, complete with a lavish marketing campaign and a bevy of young starlets who filmed it during a long weekend while they were still hoping to land a callback for Fincher’s “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” remakes.

The format works particularly well for horror movies. It just makes a lot more sense that a homemade video completed under suspicious circumstances would provide the set-up for a thriller, as opposed to, say, a movie in which the hero is forced, through a set of outrageous circumstances, to take the place of a beloved character from folklore. Such as the Easter Bunny. (Have they done that one yet? Cause that idea is GOLD. Someone get The Rock’s agent on the phone… I’ll wait…)

One recent entry in the “found footage” genre that’s scoring with the Ranker community is “The Last Exorcism,” a low-budget “found footage” take on the exorcist sub-genre that’s now available on Netflix Streaming. It’s a mockumentary supposedly chronicling the life of a former professional exorcist and fraud who has agreed to reveal the tricks he once used to fool people. Of course, most people who have seen movies have probably already guessed that, this one last time, the exorcism may just turn out to be… real?

Check out the trailer:

A good pick for Halloween, especially because, if you have Netflix, you can watch it right now without having to worry about standing up or putting on pants.

The Best Haunted House Movies

A ranked list of over 20 of the classic entries in perhaps the most popular sub-genre of horror films, the haunted house movie. Not a ton of surprises in the Top 5 – “The Shining,” as always, leads the pack, and rightfully so. Stanley Kubrick’s chilling, cold re-imagining of Stephen King’s claustrophobic bestseller remains just as mysterious and other-worldly as it did back in 1980.

Also performing really well on the list is the creepy, underrated “Stir of Echoes,” based on another novel by Richard Matheson. (Quick trivia! Matheson also wrote the books that inspired the films “Omega Man,” “I Am Legend,” “The Legend of Hell House,” “What Dreams May Come” AND “The Incredible Shrinking Woman.”)

Kevin Bacon stars as a normal guy who gets hypnotized at a party and then starts getting cryptic messages from a dead girl whose spirit lives in his house.

Yes, this is one of those movies where ghosts force the living to do errands for them and finish up their earthly business, as if these people don’t have other stuff to take care of during the course of a typical day. They’re still alive, ghosts… they have jobs.

Horror Movies Based on True Stories

Obviously we’re not saying these movies are actually TRUE in that there are really demons and ghosts and what have you. But these are films based on actual incidents and reports of supernatural activity, most of which have not been entirely debunked or disproven.

’70s classics “The Exorcist” and “The Amityville Horror” are probably the most famous examples of this trend, but some of the other items on the list might surprise you. Did you know, for example, that Peter Benchly’s book which inspired the film “Jaws” was based on a real series of shark attacks off the coast of the Jersey Shore? (Sounds like they had a Situation! Wow… I’m sorry about that…)

The list also includes the sad tale of Ed Gein, the Wisconsin serial murderer who is often credited as the inspiration for, among other movie murderers, Leatherface, Norman Bates AND Buffalo Bill from “Silence of the Lambs.” No word about whether or not he actually ever said this in real life, but we can just go ahead and assume he did because it’s more grim and Halloween-y that way.

The Sexiest Vampire Movies Ever

Finally, once the kids have fully processed those 28 Pixie Stix, crashed and wandered woozily off to bed, maybe Mom and Dad want to have a little… adult Halloween time. Then, it’s time for the to put away the childish horror films and opt for more erotic, sensual fare, which is exactly why you need expert advice on which vampire movies are the hottest. (If the word “Twilight” just popped into your head… just know that I’m disappointed in you.)

After a considerable amount of votes have come in, the verdict is clear: Kate Beckinsale from the “Underworld” films is the Internet’s pick for hottest vampire. Is it Beckinsale’s steely, athletic performance that gives the “Underworld” movies their sexy charge? Or perhaps the fact that she’s wearing an outfit that’s so rubbery and skin-tight, it kind of creeped out the monster from “American Horror Story.”

Seriously, I know I’m a vengeful spirit made of bondage gear incapable of experiencing human emotions like lust… but that Beckinsale costume is ridiculous.

Shockingly, Eddie Murphy’s foray into urban horror – “Vampire in Brooklyn” (directed by Wes Craven) – didn’t fare as well, and is bringing up the rear of the list. I seriously can’t imagine why it never found a larger audience, save for the fact that it’s nearly unwatchably terrible. But I mean… aside from that… what’s the beef, horror fans?

For even more awesome Halloween movie-themed list action, check out this guide to Nostalgic Halloween Movies (mostly from the ’80s and ’90s) as well as this authoritative guide to Movies to Watch on Halloween from local favorite AriannaFelidae. I can honestly tell you that they are both a graveyard smash, and I don’t throw that term around willy-nilly.

by    in Pop Culture, Popular Lists

Gin and Juice and Lists. In That Order.

It’s Sunday evening, it’s the week before Halloween, it’s time to look at the big news of the week and how it relates to lists that were written on Ranker.com! (I know, just what you were thinking to yourself only moments ago.)

Muammar Gaddafi’s Name Was Hard to Spell and Now He’s Dead

If I had to sum up the Internet’s reaction to the death of long-time Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, that would be it. But if I had a bit more time to expand on that, it would look like this list of Internet Reactions to Gaddafi’s Death. They range from the humorous to the sardonic to the sardonically humorous, with most of them fixated on Gaddafi’s bizarre personal style and peculiar appearance, rather than, say, his human rights record. Such is the Internet.

Also, because it wouldn’t be the Internet without constant pop culture references being run into the ground, Gaddafi’s death was also another chance for everyone to get “Back to the Future” out of their system. Oh, and was this yet another excuse to resuscitate the zombie-like “Chuck Testa” meme? Nope. Oh, I mean, yup.

The Most Influential Contemporary Americans. Besides Octomom, Of Course.

This week will see the release of the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson, who enjoyed unprecedented access to the late Apple founder and International Turtleneck of Mystery. Everyone’s buzzing about the huge revelations said to be contained between the book’s covers. For example, did you know Steve Jobs was the one who suggested to Kris Kross that they wear their clothes backwards? It would be weird if you did know that, because I just made it up. So, just saying, one of the two of us is lying.

More discussion of Jobs and his importance to global technology and innovation got lots of Ranker users thinking… who are the most influential, important contemporary American thinkers? The late 20th Century and early 21st Century figures who have had the most impact on the way each American citizen lives and thinks. (We’re remaining fairly vague about exactly what “contemporary” means, but most of the folks on the list seem to date from about the 1980s and on.) Jobs, obviously, ranks pretty high, as does fellow technologist Mark Zuckerberg. Also notably on the list? Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. OK, fine, he’s in 80th place, and yes, I may have put him on there myself. But he made the list folks.

Don’t think he’s influential? How many of you were just compelled to vomit a bit in your own mouth? I think I’ve made my point.

AND SPEAKING OF LAME REALITY TV STARS…

That’s what we in the business call a segue, folks.

“Jersey Shore” wrapped up its fourth season this week, with the cast members departing from their borrowed home in Florence and the entire continent breathing a huge sigh of relief. (Yes, there’s that whole imminent threat of economic collapse thing, but at least they get to face it Snooki-free!)

All of this begs the question… as much as it’s hilarious and fun to hate on the “Jersey Shore” kids… are they really the most vile, loathsome characters reality TV has brought into our homes? Are there people out there more insipid, banal and hateful? This crowd-sourced list of the Worst Reality TV Stars attempts to answer that very question.

Just going to put out there… Kim Kardashian qualifies for this list. I know my Rankers pretty well, and I’m thinking she’s probably going to be tough to beat. Smart money is on at least one Kardashian making it into the Final 3. Just based on numbers alone, they’ve got to like their chances.

And while we’re rating the worst of TV’s cheesiest genre, check out the crowd-sourced list of the overall Lamest Reality Shows. Or don’t. You ain’t have to take my advice. I’m not here to make friends.

Happy Birthday to Snoop!

And finally, Tha Doggfather himself, Calvin Broadus, better known as Snoop Dogg, turned 40 years old this week. He’ll celebrating with a tall, cool glass of Gin and Prune Juice. No, but seriously, though, he’s still obsessed with the chronic. Chronic back pain. What, we have time for one more? OK, he’s still asking people “What’s my name?,” but only because he’s genuinely forgotten.

And if you don’t think three solid one-liners is enough effort to earn a click-through to this list of Snoop’s greatest music video hits, well, then you’ve got a lot to learn about being a solid Internet citizen, my friend.

Fine, one more. Years of constant blunt smoking means that now his lung function is dropping like it’s hot. There, see? You got greedy.

by    in Popular Lists

Everything Sucks on the Lists of the Week

Ooh, does that sound too negative? Not sure anyone’s going to want to click on that link. Oh well, too late now.

At Ranker, we try to accentuate the positive. Like in that old song. “My Favorite Things.” Anyway, that’s why you’ll see a lot of Ranker lists posted on the front page, and around the Web, for “Best Of” lists. Those are huge. Everyone wants to hear the best bands, see the best movies, wear the best brands and eat the best shark recipes available. (Yes, of course that’s a thing.)

But a lot of the most interesting lists aren’t about the Best stuff that’s out there. They’re about the Worst things in life. And it’s about time we stopped being so prejudiced against Worst Of lists, which in their own way, can be just as informative and entertaining as the other kind. (Not to mention dryly amusing, when done properly.)

So here’s a quick rundown of the Best of the Worst Ranker lists of the moment. Well, wait, they’re not the Worst lists. They’re the Worst-Of lists. The Best of the Worst of Ranker lists? No, that just sounds weird. Damn… this blog post sucks…

The Worst Fashion Trends of All Time

The CrowdRanked list that asks the question: “Which was the worse crime against decency and good taste? The mullet or the jegging?” I know, it’s tough…

Personally, I’m a bit offended that my own suggestion – shutter shades – isn’t doing better. Is there ANYONE besides Kanye West and maybe the occasional Asian DJ who thinks shutter shades still look cool?

This is the Wikipedia file photo for the concept of “shutter shades.” The Wikipedia editors are trying to tell you to stop wearing them in the only way they know how.

Because this is a CrowdRanked list, you can actually continue adding new suggestions on there by making your own list. I’m not sure if you can top Hammer Pants or Crocs in terms of most widespread, egregious fashion disasters… but I welcome you to give it a try.

The Worst Oscar-Winning Actors Ever

It’s sort of commonly understood that everyone who wins an Academy Award must be hugely talented. Even if maybe they didn’t deserve it for the thing that actually won, as when Scorsese won an Oscar for “Departed” that was largely seen as a retroactive award for his entire filmography… it’s hard to knock Oscar winners in general as being a talented crop of people.

Having said that, a number of the past winners of the Best Actor award (and really, in every acting category) didn’t exactly go on to win the same manner of accolades for their entire careers. So it’s time to look back at all the Best Actor winners and pick out the ones who, perhaps in retrospect, maybe shouldn’t have that trophy on their mantle.

Hey, Roberto, how big do you think your chances are of taking the #1 spot in this list?

Yeah, seriously, what the hell was going on that year? A romantic comedy set at a concentration camp? That really worked for you, America of the 1990s? It’s like, for a few years there, someone put Dexter in charge of Miramax or something. That is just grim.

The Dumbest Reality Shows on TV

It’s hard to straight-up do a “Worst Reality Shows” list… because some of them are so bad they are actually pretty good. That’s kind of the point. If you’re watching “Hoarders,” you’re probably under no illusions that this is going to be an hour well spent, expanding your horizons such as you would when reading a great novel or learning a new skill. You just want to see some losers living on top of rodent skeletons so that you can go to sleep knowing at least 2 people out live a lifestyle even more off-putting than your own. I get that.

Still, we can all agree on some common ground, that some reality shows are just smarter than others. For example, some reality shows don’t feature Snooki. So there you go right there.

Don’t worry about it, though… One day, all TV shows will feature Snooki. Here she is auditioning for Andy Rooney’s recently-vacated “60 Minutes” spot.

Unsurprisingly, “Toddlers and Tiaras” and the Kardashian family have been performing strong right out of the gate. I was sort of surprised to see how many “classic” reality shows had made the list, though. Considering that most reality TV is designed to be immediately satisfying and then extremely disposable, it’s amazing this many people even recall “Temptation Island” or “The Ashlee Simpson Show” enough to hate them. And yet… here we are… I’m so proud of all of you for hanging on to your disgust over the years, even the decades.

Occupy Wall Street: The Worst Protesters AND the Worst Reactions

Finally, a pair of lists about the “Occupy Wall Street” movement that has captured the American public’s fascination and attention this past month. (At least, during all our spare time in between Internet searches for a scorpion jacket like Ryan Gosling wore in “Drive” that we are convinced will make us the hit of the Halloween party even though every third guy is probably going to show up in one of those.)

Yes, a pair of lists. Because I don’t want to post just one political list, and it happens to lean to one side of the spectrum or the other and we get ones of dozens of e-mails from angry people about how Ranker hates the Constitution and Ranker’s killing 3 acres of rainforest every second and websites for list-making were Leon Trotsky’s idea originally anyway. Cause none of us need that.

So first up is a list of silly videos in which Occupy Wall Street protesters (and other sympathetic protesters from solidarity movements across the nation) demonstrate their not-exactly-100%-firm grasp on the economic issues at stake.

Like this guy, who’s seriously upset that Radiohead didn’t show up to play at the protest, as was promised. He’s basically holding a side protest at the protest about how he didn’t get to see Radiohead for free:

Which is weird because exactly how is Radiohead considered protest music anyway? It’s hard to really get your righteous anger on to, say, “No Surprises.”

And for those of you who firmly support the protesters and don’t at all like the idea of a list mocking them, check out this guide to the most unhinged mainstream media reactions to the OWS movement. It includes gems like this clip of “Fox and Friends” referring to the protesters as criminals and drug users:

Seriously, what is up with that show. Next, they’ll be inviting the children of legendary country music stars on to come on and compare Obama to Hitler.

by    in Trends

Lists of the Third Week Before Halloween!

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when everyone dresses up in costumes, celebrates the macabre and eats entirely too many sweets. Well, OK, it’s not EXACTLY that time of year yet. It’s the time of year when impatient types start putting up Halloween decorations and everyone else goes to see 8 Ryan Gosling movies in a row. But… close enough… We need to start promoting these Halloween lists NOW if we hope to compete with best-haunted-houses-in-us-free-iphone-now.html or what have you.

Plus, you’ll need some extra time to actually figure out what you’re going to go as this year, so you’re not stuck at the last minute throwing together a lame, half-assed, possibly racist Antoine Dodson outfit like you did last year. (Anyone else wondering what this year’s official half-assed last-minute meme costume will be? My money’s on Nyan Cat or the Rent Is Too Damn High guy.


Our children can’t even afford breakfast, lunch and dinner. Or proper fake beards, for that matter.

But think of the difference a bit of EFFORT can make. If you need ideas, perhaps your favorite celebrity can provide costume inspiration? Or maybe you’re a discerning hipster in need of something both time-consuming to create and appropriately ironical? Ranker’s guide to Hipster Halloween Costumes can help.


This is Brian from Ranker. I’m putting this picture here because, next year, we’ve convinced him to actually wear a Halloween costume rather than normal work clothes, seen here.

But maybe you’re lazy and you like to occasionally work up a nice batch of neck sweat. (Hey, no judgement.) You’ll want to peruse this fine selection of the scariest Halloween masks. Because nothing says “I have crippling social anxiety” quite like showing up to a Halloween party wearing headgear that prevents you from speaking or making eye contact with anyone.


Remember, kids, Dr. Tongue may LOOK scary, but he’s more afraid of you than you are of him.

And as long as we’re getting the Halloween planning out of the way early – so we can spend the next 3 months doing CHRISTMAS planning, obviously – it’s about time to start considering the annual Halloween party. And what’s the biggest problem facing all Halloween parties? Besides the fact that it’s the one occasion per year by which you are legally mandated to actually pay money for candy corn? Of course, it’s a lack of appropriately themed music options.

I mean, honestly, how many times can you subject your guests to Donovan’s “Season of the Witch”? We’re talking 12, 15 tops.


If it were “Hurdy Gurdy Man,” I MIGHT make an exception and upgrade it to 20 times. Might.

Our Open List of the Best Halloween Songs includes a number of novel suggestions, and even allows you to add more ideas of your own, in case we forgot one. (Yes, “The Purple People Eater” is already on there, despite no one ever actually opting to listen to that song voluntarily in the sum total of human history. PROVE ME WRONG.)

But I realize now that I’ve been leaving out a large group of potential Ranker fans from the discussion… those who prefer to skip the parties and trick-or-treating and retreat to their homes for horror movie marathons and werewolf role play in the bedroom. (What? That can’t just be me.) While you’re configuring your Netflix play list (or your Qwakster or Flickquick or Bisquick playlist or whatever they’ve decided to call it now), be sure to check out our CrowdRanked guide to the Greatest Horror Films Ever to make sure you’ve seen all the classics.

I bet a bunch of you haven’t even SEEN “Serpent and the Rainbow.” Have you? Don’t you lie to me…


It features Bill Pullman fighting zombies. What are you waiting for, a formal written invitation?

And because we’re not ONLY about traumatizing young children, here’s an alternate list of more kiddie-appropriate scary movies. And yes, we included “Beetlejuice” even though he visits that ghost brothel in one scene, and we’re pretty sure Keaton drops at least one F-bomb in there. Cause your precious little darlings can handle it and that movie’s awesome.


It’s this scene and he says “Nice f-ing model” and then there’s a honking noise. Just need to make sure you guys know that I know. OK, I feel better.

by    in Trends

Midnight Marathon Mega-Movie Madness of the Week

Rankers love movies. It’s the single most popular subject matter for new lists on our site. (Also popular? Window treatments!) With streaming services, DVD-by-mail offers, pay-per-view, iTunes and Redbox making it easier than ever to try out a wide range of movies, there’s a lot of interest in cataloging great films. Instead of throwing up their hands in despair, crying “There’s nothing good to watch on Netflix” just because the latest fighting-robots-from-space feature hasn’t been uploaded yet, Ranker gives movie fans a resource to find hundreds – nay thousands – of new titles in pretty much every genre, from Dinosaur Movies to Bank Robbery thrillers to movies in which adorable kids find even more adorable puppies and then have to start a hotel for them for some reason.

All of these dogs registered for the hotel under false names. That's not really "Buddy" at all!

Ranker lists aren’t just limited to just the traditional “Best Of” style like, say, “The Most Erotic Vampire Films” (though we have that one.) Here’s a VoteRanked collection of every feature-length Batman movie ever made, where visitors are voting for their favorites. Unsurprisingly, the Nolan films are in the lead thus far…

"Huh, Burton and Nolan both made good Batman films. I'm finding it hard to make up my mind for some reason...

Here, a Ranker regular kept track of her favorite “Body Switch” movies, and gave the rest of the community their say as well. (Apparently I’m not the only one who found “Prelude to a Kiss” unwatchably creepy. Good to know.)

And though it’s great for inviting votes and collaborating to determine the “best” of a genre, Ranker also has a lot of just straight-up helpful movie reference pages, useful in case you ever need a definitive list of all alien movies ever. (You know, for a class project or something.) And yes, I mean all movies about aliens, not all “Alien” movies. Cause there’s only 4 of those, 6 if you count the reprehensible “Alien vs. Predator” franchise and 7 if you could Ridley Scott’s “Prometheus,” which theoretically takes place in the same fictional universe.

The Alien creature is actually known as the "xenomorph" in stray dialogue from "Aliens" and "Alien 3." Or Pete to his friends.

Last up in our tour through Ranker’s movie category, here’s a quick rundown (with videos!) of some classic movie monologues. Note that this is an Open List, meaning you can enter in your own picks for the greatest monologue or speech in film history at the bottom if it’s not already on there.

[I myself had to add Alec Baldwin’s classic “God complex” rant from the awesomely terrible “Malice.” Enjoy!]

by    in Pop Culture, Popular Lists

The List of the Week is on Team Jacob

Yes, the title of this post is a “Twilight” reference. I’m going to go take a 4-hour bleach bath in the hopes that, one day, I might feel clean again.

OK, back. It’s been a dazzling week in the World of Entertainment. Last week, the Emmy Awards taught us all how to laugh again. The new Fall TV season immediately caused us to once more forget how to laugh. Award hopefuls and big end-of-year films began rolling out into movie theaters. And one of the world’s biggest rock bands decided to stop touring and go back to standing in the place where they live. (Now face North!)

Let’s get to it…

First “Whitney” Airs to Universal Acclaim… No, Wait, What’s the Opposite of Acclaim?

About a month ago, we asked Ranker users to rate the new Fall TV series they were most excited about. “Person of Interest” topped the results, followed closely by FOX’s “Terra Nova” and the Zooey Deschanel sitcom “The New Girl.”

This week, we’ve finally gotten a chance to see if the Ranker-ers were right on the money. (Certainly, their collected lack of interest in “The Playboy Club” and “Charlie’s Angels” seem to have been warranted.)

SOMEHOW, “Whitney” – the throwback sitcom featuring stand-up comic Whitney Cummings – was the #6-rated overall most anticipated show, despite featuring some of the most hacky and irritating advertisements for any TV series (or, really, thing) in recent memory.

Ba-zing!

The expression on that actor’s face in the background is completely surreal. It’s like, “Hey, look at that, I’m on a billboard next to this smiling lady. All right… Oh, a Wahoo’s. Maybe I can get some fish tacos after this.”

The Fall TV season also means that long-time favorite shows are back from their summer hiatus. Which means “Fringe” is introducing its 8th parallel universes, Ashton Kutcher is replacing Violent Tiger Torpedo of Wizard Truth Charlie Sheen on “2 and a Half Men” and “The Simpsons” is back for Season 93! (“Simpsons” fans really owe it to themselves to check out this awesome collection of Springfield USA Tourist Attractions. Look out, Utica!

Crackton

If you end up in the Russian District, you’ve gone too far.

Will America Accept a Shirted Taylor Lautner?

New films this weekend included “Moneyball” – with Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill – and “Dolphin Tale,” a 3D film about Morgan Freeman fitting a dolphin for a prosthetic tail. Seriously. We did a list about quotes from the movie “Dolphin Tale”. This is my job, people. Get on board.

“I guess I just figured… we’d already helped every human being on Earth who was missing a limb, and it was probably time to get started with fish. Mammals, whatever.”

But the big news this weekend were the reviews for Taylor Lautner’s new action/thriller “Abduction.” They were not good! At all! Often hilariously so!

Take Kyle Smith of The New York Post: “Actual abduction may be preferable to the movie of the same name, but only if your kidnappers don’t torture you by forcing you to watch it.”

And so forth.

R.E.M Thinks They’ve Had Too Much Of This Life

Well, hang on.

Yes, Athens, Georgia’s very own R.E.M. has called it quits after just over 30 years together this week, after lead singer Michael Stipe announced he intended to spend more time at home with his beard.

And now, because I’m the one writing this blog, my favorite R.E.M. song:


Had considered picking “Radio Free Europe,” but going for the first popular song on the debut album seemed too insufferable.

Ranker users commemorated the occasion by voting on their favorite all-time R.E.M. albums (Life’s Rich Pageant is out to an early lead), and counting down some of their fondest R.E.M. moments and memories. Mercifully, Shiny Happy People did not make the cut. Really can’t stand that one…

by    in Popular Lists

I'd Like to Thank the List of the Day… and My Agent

Tonight is the 63rd annual Primetime Emmy Awards, and you know what that means… Los Angeles’ supply of collagen is at a historic low tonight. You want thick, lustrous, not-at-all-even-vaguely-human-looking lips, you better be willing to pay zombipocalypse prices.

It also means millions of Americans (and probably, let’s say, 7-10 other people from countries around the globe!) will be rapt at their television sets, watching celebrities give one another golden statues for being so incredibly hilarious and awesome.

OK, that sounds a bit cynical for a corporate communication. Let me try again. Something with some more SEO-type keywords…

She made all this money just by typing SEO-friendly keywords. For real. It works.

Once again, it’s Emmy night, that time when the world of television’s brightest stars come out to shine and celebrate the very best of the medium. (Though unless it’s on HBO or about cooking meth, the options are still surprisingly thin, let’s be honest.)

Oh well, I tried.

Anyway, Ranker has a variety of fascinating lists to check out while you’re waiting to see if Jon Cryer gets his name called, and we all find out exactly what Charlie Sheen-induced PTSD looks like up close.

Get an idea for who might come out on top tonight by reading our Emmy Predictions list. Then come taunt us in the comments afterwards for everything we got wrong. (Just for fun, try to be more clever than, say, this: “Julianna Marguiles? FAIL.” That’s where we’re setting the bar.)

Outstanding Comedy Series in particular looks to be a competitive category. “The Big Bang Theory” and “Parks and Recreation” are both nominated for the first time this year, and they’re up against 3 heavy hitters – “Modern Family” (which won last year), “Glee” (nominated last year and beloved for some reason) and 3-time winner “30 Rock.” See every show that has taken the top comedy prize on our VoteRanked list of the greatest Outstanding Comedy Series Emmy winners. And by the way, has anyone ever seen or heard of a show called “My World and Welcome To It”? It apparently has won an Emmy but I have to think it’s just some elaborate hoax:

This is seriously a thing? Really? I don’t believe you.

For more Emmy history, we’ve collected several of the most glaring Emmy snubs of all time. This year has two HUGE oversights in a single category, actually – Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.

The two funniest characters on TV this past season were Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” and Leon Black from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Yet neither of the actors behind these characters – Nick Offerman and JB Smoove, respectively – were nominated in this category this year. Seriously, Academy… every single person with a Y chromosome who appeared on “Modern Family” gets a nod, but not Ron f-ing Swanson? Are you mad??!?

A cat that looks like Ron Swanson, expressing how I feel about Ron Swanson not being honored by the TV Academy.

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