Yes, it’s that time of year again, when everyone dresses up in costumes, celebrates the macabre and eats entirely too many sweets. Well, OK, it’s not EXACTLY that time of year yet. It’s the time of year when impatient types start putting up Halloween decorations and everyone else goes to see 8 Ryan Gosling movies in a row. But… close enough… We need to start promoting these Halloween lists NOW if we hope to compete with best-haunted-houses-in-us-free-iphone-now.html or what have you.
Plus, you’ll need some extra time to actually figure out what you’re going to go as this year, so you’re not stuck at the last minute throwing together a lame, half-assed, possibly racist Antoine Dodson outfit like you did last year. (Anyone else wondering what this year’s official half-assed last-minute meme costume will be? My money’s on Nyan Cat or the Rent Is Too Damn High guy.
But think of the difference a bit of EFFORT can make. If you need ideas, perhaps your favorite celebrity can provide costume inspiration? Or maybe you’re a discerning hipster in need of something both time-consuming to create and appropriately ironical? Ranker’s guide to Hipster Halloween Costumes can help.
But maybe you’re lazy and you like to occasionally work up a nice batch of neck sweat. (Hey, no judgement.) You’ll want to peruse this fine selection of the scariest Halloween masks. Because nothing says “I have crippling social anxiety” quite like showing up to a Halloween party wearing headgear that prevents you from speaking or making eye contact with anyone.
And as long as we’re getting the Halloween planning out of the way early – so we can spend the next 3 months doing CHRISTMAS planning, obviously – it’s about time to start considering the annual Halloween party. And what’s the biggest problem facing all Halloween parties? Besides the fact that it’s the one occasion per year by which you are legally mandated to actually pay money for candy corn? Of course, it’s a lack of appropriately themed music options.
I mean, honestly, how many times can you subject your guests to Donovan’s “Season of the Witch”? We’re talking 12, 15 tops.
If it were “Hurdy Gurdy Man,” I MIGHT make an exception and upgrade it to 20 times. Might.
Our Open List of the Best Halloween Songs includes a number of novel suggestions, and even allows you to add more ideas of your own, in case we forgot one. (Yes, “The Purple People Eater” is already on there, despite no one ever actually opting to listen to that song voluntarily in the sum total of human history. PROVE ME WRONG.)
But I realize now that I’ve been leaving out a large group of potential Ranker fans from the discussion… those who prefer to skip the parties and trick-or-treating and retreat to their homes for horror movie marathons and werewolf role play in the bedroom. (What? That can’t just be me.) While you’re configuring your Netflix play list (or your Qwakster or Flickquick or Bisquick playlist or whatever they’ve decided to call it now), be sure to check out our CrowdRanked guide to the Greatest Horror Films Ever to make sure you’ve seen all the classics.
I bet a bunch of you haven’t even SEEN “Serpent and the Rainbow.” Have you? Don’t you lie to me…
It features Bill Pullman fighting zombies. What are you waiting for, a formal written invitation?
And because we’re not ONLY about traumatizing young children, here’s an alternate list of more kiddie-appropriate scary movies. And yes, we included “Beetlejuice” even though he visits that ghost brothel in one scene, and we’re pretty sure Keaton drops at least one F-bomb in there. Cause your precious little darlings can handle it and that movie’s awesome.