To get an authentic dubstep remix sound, disconnect your cable box, turn on your now-static-filled TV to full blast then read this post while soaking your head in a full bathtub.
Amazing, right? It totally works.
I bring this up because we’re witnessing a battle for the top few spots on the“Best DJs in the World” CrowdRanked list. And because I just generally like making fun of dubstep now that 80% of the Internet has become intensely obsessed with it. Seriously, every song now has about 20 dubstep remixes, even really terrible songs that would seemingly drive you insane if you had to listen to enough of it to make a successful remix.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a dubstep remix of “Like a G6”! “Like a G6”! They’re feeling so fly like a G6!…
Yeah… so… that happened.
Anyway, DJs Tiesto and Deadmau5 have been duking it out for the title of World’s Greatest DJfor a while now, and it’s started to get pretty close. (Armin van Buuren is up there, too.) Interestingly, some generally well-regarded DJs like Ferry Corsten and Felix Da Housecat (for some reason, I almost typed “Felix Da Houseguest” there, which is not really as cool a DJ name) aren’t performing all that well thus far.
So if you are superfans of some of these dudes, or you hate them (super-anti-fans?), by all means give them some help by voting or making your own suggestions list. Promise you’ll do it and I’ll post a dubstep remix of the already-largely-irritating LMFAO “Party Rock Anthem” song.
Yes, the title of this post is a “Twilight” reference. I’m going to go take a 4-hour bleach bath in the hopes that, one day, I might feel clean again.
OK, back. It’s been a dazzling week in the World of Entertainment. Last week, the Emmy Awards taught us all how to laugh again. The new Fall TV season immediately caused us to once more forget how to laugh. Award hopefuls and big end-of-year films began rolling out into movie theaters. And one of the world’s biggest rock bands decided to stop touring and go back to standing in the place where they live. (Now face North!)
Let’s get to it…
First “Whitney” Airs to Universal Acclaim… No, Wait, What’s the Opposite of Acclaim?
About a month ago, we asked Ranker users to rate the new Fall TV series they were most excited about. “Person of Interest” topped the results, followed closely by FOX’s “Terra Nova” and the Zooey Deschanel sitcom “The New Girl.”
This week, we’ve finally gotten a chance to see if the Ranker-ers were right on the money. (Certainly, their collected lack of interest in “The Playboy Club” and “Charlie’s Angels” seem to have been warranted.)
SOMEHOW, “Whitney” – the throwback sitcom featuring stand-up comic Whitney Cummings – was the #6-rated overall most anticipated show, despite featuring some of the most hacky and irritating advertisements for any TV series (or, really, thing) in recent memory.
The expression on that actor’s face in the background is completely surreal. It’s like, “Hey, look at that, I’m on a billboard next to this smiling lady. All right… Oh, a Wahoo’s. Maybe I can get some fish tacos after this.”
The Fall TV season also means that long-time favorite shows are back from their summer hiatus. Which means “Fringe” is introducing its 8th parallel universes, Ashton Kutcher is replacing Violent Tiger Torpedo of Wizard Truth Charlie Sheen on “2 and a Half Men” and “The Simpsons” is back for Season 93! (“Simpsons” fans really owe it to themselves to check out this awesome collection of Springfield USA Tourist Attractions. Look out, Utica!
If you end up in the Russian District, you’ve gone too far.
Ranker.com, being an Internet startup, has something of a lax dress policy around the office. Let’s put it this way – we interpret “business casual” as meaning “footwear-optional.” And most of us aren’t exercising those options. There is one exception – Content and Community Manager Brian Gilmore, who not only will frequently wear shirts with collars, but sometimes even a vest on top of it. And not even some cheap vest – one of the ones with the buckle in back, like it came out of a tuxedo or something. How can the rest of us compete with that?
Anyway, just because most of us lack any knowledge of fashion or style beyond “don’t wear white after Labor Day or on days you plan to eat tomato sauce and/or pudding” doesn’t mean the SITE that we manage can’t have some decent fashion content. Like this guide to the best jeans and denim brands. Or our latest CrowdRanked list, a look at the top designers of men’s shoes. So many great styles and designers to choose from, even Don Draper could learn a thing or two… Yes, he may not have an Emmy, but when discussing fictional characters with impeccable fashion sense, he’s still our go-to reference.
Don, hey, I’m just kidding. Relax, guy. You’ll get that Emmy some day. They can’t churn out new “Breaking Bads” forever, right? They’re drug dealers, it’s usually not a long, storied career that’d take 13 seasons to arc, amirite?
Find even more Ranker Fashion content on our tag page. And remember, one stain on your shirt is just a stain… but two stains is a pattern.
Tonight is the 63rd annual Primetime Emmy Awards, and you know what that means… Los Angeles’ supply of collagen is at a historic low tonight. You want thick, lustrous, not-at-all-even-vaguely-human-looking lips, you better be willing to pay zombipocalypse prices.
It also means millions of Americans (and probably, let’s say, 7-10 other people from countries around the globe!) will be rapt at their television sets, watching celebrities give one another golden statues for being so incredibly hilarious and awesome.
OK, that sounds a bit cynical for a corporate communication. Let me try again. Something with some more SEO-type keywords…
She made all this money just by typing SEO-friendly keywords. For real. It works.
Once again, it’s Emmy night, that time when the world of television’s brightest stars come out to shine and celebrate the very best of the medium. (Though unless it’s on HBO or about cooking meth, the options are still surprisingly thin, let’s be honest.)
Oh well, I tried.
Anyway, Ranker has a variety of fascinating lists to check out while you’re waiting to see if Jon Cryer gets his name called, and we all find out exactly what Charlie Sheen-induced PTSD looks like up close.
Get an idea for who might come out on top tonight by reading our Emmy Predictions list. Then come taunt us in the comments afterwards for everything we got wrong. (Just for fun, try to be more clever than, say, this: “Julianna Marguiles? FAIL.” That’s where we’re setting the bar.)
Outstanding Comedy Series in particular looks to be a competitive category. “The Big Bang Theory” and “Parks and Recreation” are both nominated for the first time this year, and they’re up against 3 heavy hitters – “Modern Family” (which won last year), “Glee” (nominated last year and beloved for some reason) and 3-time winner “30 Rock.” See every show that has taken the top comedy prize on our VoteRanked list of the greatest Outstanding Comedy Series Emmy winners. And by the way, has anyone ever seen or heard of a show called “My World and Welcome To It”? It apparently has won an Emmy but I have to think it’s just some elaborate hoax:
This is seriously a thing? Really? I don’t believe you.
For more Emmy history, we’ve collected several of the most glaring Emmy snubs of all time. This year has two HUGE oversights in a single category, actually – Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.
The two funniest characters on TV this past season were Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” and Leon Black from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Yet neither of the actors behind these characters – Nick Offerman and JB Smoove, respectively – were nominated in this category this year. Seriously, Academy… every single person with a Y chromosome who appeared on “Modern Family” gets a nod, but not Ron f-ing Swanson? Are you mad??!?
Few things on Earth say Saturday morning like cartoons and cereal. It’s always great, just sitting in front of Saturday morning cartoons, with your favorite novelty cereal bowl, eating sugary stuff that advertising companies somehow convinced your parents were a necessary part of your balanced breakfast.
But among the cartoons, there were always those few characters that really got to us, rubbed us the wrong way, or ruined everything for every body.
Remember this needy bastard?
or maybe this Napoleon-complexed little nuisance?
or how about this troll’s laugh?
There was always that ONE cartoon character that really grinded your gears. For me, it was always Ranger Smith. Screw that guy. If it weren’t for him, Boo Boo wouldn’t have to be so uptight all the time “I don’t think the Ranger’s gonna like this, Yogi”.
What if he wasn’t around to kill the buzz of being two awesome bears in the woods? You know how much more fun Yogi Bear would’ve been as a show? It’d basically be like The Hangover, only with cartoon bears.
If only it weren’t for this fun-ruining Ranger. They should’ve mauled him.
“Well they can’t have fun, I mean, c’mon…”
So, in honor of today being Saturday, here’s a wonderful list that allows you to list the cartoon characters that annoy you the most, and to vote for the worst, best and most memorably annoying ones.
If you’ve been living under a rock (in which case, welcome to our above-ground world! We have lots of delicious insects up here, but I would highly recommend our smoked meats), then you haven’t heard that Scarlett Johansson broke one of the cardinal rules of being a famous attractive female celebrity: she, at some point, texted nude pictures of herself to somebody (which, for the sake of all of us, we’re hoping wasn’t Sean Penn).
And because the internet is a cesspool of humanity that cares about nothing more than “boobs [cleaned up for language] or GTFO”, some crafty Hackers are to blame for the sexty pictures, making Scarlett Johansson one of the few female celebrities who no longer has to “GTFO” of the internet.
Is it really “news” that she probably looks amazing naked?
We won’t link you to the pictures, because all you have to do to see them is go to any website ever (except maybe Disney.com). But the internet really reacted to them like a bunch of creeps. Every guy on Twitter is talking about stuff that’s waaay too personal to post, except for today, for some reason.
So, today’s list of the day has one thing to illustrate/explain:
“… not a man in the world doesn’t want to see Scarlett Johanssen naked, but do we really all have to let each other know what we’re “doing” to these new leaked naked photos of her via social networks? This is the most the internet has ever instantly exploded over leaked nude pictures of a famous hot celebrity, and it was weird, awkward and creepy as hell.”
Well said, Robert Wabash. Well said. In honor of the biggest T.M.I. day in internet history…
Time for another look back at the lists that mattered this week on Ranker.com. Might be a big of a somber post, in light of the 10th anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks. Just seems wrong to delve into the usual list of the week round-up style hilarity. (I know, I know, hilarity isn’t even a strong enough word… but I’m trying to be serious here.)
Also, don’t miss this list of the ways 9/11 changed how we talk, a look at phrases and concepts introduced to daily American life by the events of 9/11. (Including that old favorite, “if _______, then the terrorists will truly have won.”
There were some other happenings this week worthy of Ranker lists.
For one, “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star” at long last hit movie screens, and the acclaim was universally absent. In fact, with a current rating on Rotten Tomatoes of 0%, it’s safe to say that the film is the worst-reviewed of 2011. (Really saying something…) Exactly HOW unfortunate and joke-free is “Bucky Larson”? Here’s a sampling from Ranker’s list of The Worst Bucky Larson Reviews:
“You may or may not laugh, but at least you’ll be closer to death and no better for it.” — Rob Humanick, Slant Magazine
In other entertainment news, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” signs off from its 8th season tonight, prompting Ranker users to look back on the best-ever premium cable shows. Curb is currently coming in at #3. Who’s doing better? Check out the list and see, why don’t you?
What? Stop looking at me like that!
Earlier this week, in a surprise move, Google purchased dining guide publishers Zagat for an undisclosed sum. (Our sources say $300 billion, which is why we stopped listening to them a while back.)
This makes over 100 other companies that have been gobbled up by the search giant in the past few years. But what were Google’s best-ever acquisitions? Leading right now? DODGEBALL! No, just kidding. It’s YouTube. And come on… it can’t be that hard to see why…
Awwww, how cute. I’ll give you $300 billion!
Finally this week saw the return of NFL football, when it seemed so close to being called off completely. And what better way to celebrate America’s game to Sunday afternoons than voting on and nominating your picks for the Greatest Running Back of All Time. Come on, give it a try. It’s one of the few times in life you’ll be able to give OJ Simpson a thumbs up and still feel good about yourself.
And with that, we’re signing off from another look back at the Ranker lists of the week. Be safe out there.
One of the greatest trends of recent memory is pointing out either via twitter hashtags, tumblr blogs or troll-like Facebook posts that a problem someone is complaining about is a “first world problem”.
A first world problem is a grievance expressed by someone in a position of relative affluence to the rest of the world. This grievance is usually something only someone relatively well off would even be able to complain about.
For example, someone in a state of starvation or poverty in a third world country wouldn’t even be able to complain about this:
But a lot of times you see these along with Facebook pictures, or in the context of plain text, which is funny, but really lacks that extra umph that you really need to fully appreciate how insignificant these grievances really are.
The Sad Youth Meme adds this umph by placing the first world problems next to a skinny, caucasian, melodramatic and overexposed/artsy picture of a young person in peril (who is really probably not in any real peril).
So just so you can send over a reality check to anyone you know that complains way too much about problems that really just illustrate that their life is fine, today’s list of the day is The Very Best of the Sad Youth Meme.
It’s Labor Day once again! For those of you reading this outside of the US, a bit of background. Labor Day was originally a celebration held by labor unions in September 5, 1882. (It was made a national holiday in 1894 as an olive branch to unions, following the deaths of workers during the Pullman Strike.)
Think we’re being too hard on Mario? Consider this: He knows all these pipes are broken, and are warping him to another dimension instead of carrying water and sewage where they’re supposed to go, but he never bothers to fix them. Yet he still seems to have a lot of time left over for parties and go-kart rides…
Labor Day is also universally recognized as the end of the “summer” season, and therefore the last time you can acceptably leave the house in white pants until May of the following year.
NOTE: Wearing a sport coat over a futuristic jumpsuit is acceptable only on April Fool’s Day, Halloween and for a few hours on Yom Kippur.
On Ranker, Americans recognized the holiday much as they did in real life. First, by voting on their favoriteplaces to eat barbecue. (This list has actually become a real nail-biter with some later additions rocketing up the charts. Will Murphysboro, Illinois’ 17th Street Bar and Grill overtake Moe’s Original Bar B Que?)
The weekend also saw a lot of activity on the Best Tasting Light Beers list (Less Filling!), in which 27 nominated brews are duking it out. This was particularly surprising, as none of us at Ranker were aware that light beer had a taste.
Yes, there’s nothing more satisfying on a hot day than a tall, frothy mug of Hop Water.
As this weekend also marks the symbolic end of Summer 2011, Ranker users also enjoyed taking a look back at some of the season’s hottest hit songs. Adele’s holding strong in the top spot with “Rolling in the Deep,” which has as-of-today received not a single downvote.
The next 5 items on the list? Smarmy, winking, ironic hipster covers of “Rolling in the Deep.”